Saturday - going to the chapel and backsliding

Not me. My cousin on my mom's side. We have to go to Janesville today for a wedding at the Holiday Inn Express - his second, her first. Smallish wedding w/only close family and friends. We are the few relatives from her dad's side, so we made the cut. I just tried on a pair of size 24 dress pants I got from my lovely friend Sheila K., and they fit. I can't wait to get all dolled up. I am the appointed chauffeur of the day, but that's okay. I'm not a good passenger. I used to get car sick back in the day, riding in the back seat. Could have had something to do with dad's cigarettes smoke, since I always ended up riding behind him in the car. And speaking of sick...

Friday I didn't wake up with a headache! Yay. This may sound really weird, and I may be totally off base, but I think I know what caused the headache. Last Friday I borrowed a bunch of big pillows and beanbags from our guidance department so my kids could flop on the floor and read. The were in my room all weekend and all week. They smell terrible - like mildew and just plain old. I carried them in, and I moved them a few times. The kids fluffed and plopped almost every day. I had a kid remove those beanbags early Thursday. So no more mold spores floating around my room. I didn't get my headache back while at school yesterday, and I don't have it now. Methinks it was a mold and mildew allergy making me have the headache. Crazy, no?

I have managed to fall off the wagon these past two weeks. I had two weeks of success, and now I am waffling again. I hate this about myself. I give myself this one last day to be foolish and make less than good choices. I think i will probably use my "pass on weighing" at WW this coming week, so I can buy some time to get the weight off. It may be only a couple of pounds, but I want them gone. Now that I'm feeling a little better, I will get back to business. My thyroid check came back "normal." I'm not satisfied with that, though. I have a day off coming at the end of Feb., so if I'm not feeling better rested and better in general by then, I'll try to see my doc. I have apnea and am using my machine, but I still don't feel 100% rested. I have to put my exercise back into my days so that I can reestablish "normal". That gives me about 10 days to see if I can start feeling better. Hmmmm, maybe I'd better start back on my vitamins. I'm such a slacker with that.

I'm rambling here, but that's how I roll. I was reading a blog on "BestLife Design" a web group put together by Matt and Suzy Hoover from Biggest Loser. The wl blog person was working with a client who at the end of any struggle or issue always asks: "What's the lesson here? What do I need to learn from this?" I need to learn that feeling bad is okay and giving in to that is okay. But it's not okay to let it be the excuse for a long-term slide back into old habits. I'm too excited about wearing smaller sizes to call my so-far weightloss good enough. I have to regroup and move on. I am worth it. I mean, yesterday I had someone at school talk to me and then take a step back - "you're losing weight, girl." Yeah, but I'm struggling. But darn it I AM losing and I AM looking and feeling better, and I AM worth that. And the compliments feel SO good.

Okay, folks, I'm out. Gotta have some breaky and get my boy up and rolling. We have to be at my mom's no later than 10:45 so we can roll on time. I'm notoriously late for such things which is part of my charm. Others fail to see it that way...

Make it a great day.