That's what I'm going to name my blog for this time of the month...
PMS - pretty mean spirited
PMS - put me sane (please)
PMS - people makeme sick (sad, silly, sick, sad, silly, sniffle)
This stinks. The up down up down unpredicatability of what I am going to get each month at this time really bites. But what's a perimenopausal woman of nearly 44 (OMG!) to do?
I thank my commenting friends for the uplifting whacks up side the head, though none were hurtful. All got thru, I think. I do take them to heart.
Truth: I have gained 4 pounds in the last 2 weeks, but I"m .2 down from last week.
Truth: I have not been doing 60 minutes exercise daily.
Truth: Last week I ate most of an angelfood cake myself (It was fab!)
Truth: I ate at Wendy's
Truth: I ate at Pizza Hut
Truth: I drank wine.
Truth: I ate at Subway
Truth: I didn't drink much water at all
I can't think of any of my other sins. I think that pretty much covers it.
Earth to you, Mz. Fat-Don't-Wrinkle: you can't do all that crap and expect results. It just don't work that way.
Uhhh, Houston, we have a problem.
Truth: Saturday I walked 70 minutes w/my dogs
Truth: Sunday I walk 5 mins short of a 5-mile DVD
Truth: today my rings are sliding all over my fingers
Truth: the truths don't counter balance the other truths...dang!
Houston, you're breaking up...
Listen, Mz. Fat-Don't-Wrinkle - don't start pulling that "Houston" crap. You don't know anyone in Houston. You've never been to Houston. You are no Houston!
Does knowing a kickass trainer in Austin count for anything?
Only if she's coming up to kick your Wisconsin cheese ass!
You guys in Houston have no damned sense of humor. (BTW - can you say ass on here?)
Mz. Fat-Don't-Wrinkle, YOU have a problem. You've got a program. You've got a support network. You've got your exercise groove on. What the heck is the matter with you? You want the truth?
Well, ummm, okay ____________________________________________ (insert your choice of lame-*ss excuse here.)
YOU HAVE THE POWER!
Geez, can you turn that down?
URGH! You have the power. You may not always have the control, but the power is yours. You give away the control, you lose the power. You let stress get to you; you lose the power. You let the PMS roller-coaster run you; you lose the power. YOU ARE BIGGER and BETTER than any excuse you can come up with about WHY you didn't lose weight.
Oh.
What are you prepared to do about it? What are you, Mz. Fat-Don't-Wrinkle, going to do to make sure that you keep your power, lose this weight, and don't have to become a WLS statistic?
Have my jaws wired shut?
Fat-Don't-Wrinkle, can you be serious just this one time? You're killin' me Smalls. Killin' me.
I know. I'm killing me, too...
That's really the scary bottom line. If I don't get my stuff together, I am killing me slowly, not necessarily softly with this song, but slowly and surely. So what am I going to do?
Just for today.
1. Journal my food. (done)
2. Count my points doing #1. (33 points consumed as recommended)
3. Exercise 60 minutes. (30 minutes - I forgot to set the alarm, so will do tomorrow)
4. Drink all my water. (starting tomorrow)
5. Confess it here. (done deal.)
And tomorrow I will do it again. And the day after that? I'll worry about that when I get there. I am giving this WW thing 4 more weeks. For 4 weeks I am going to do what I've been told.
In a way I am giving up my resistance to being told what to do for Lent. If I am happy with how it goes, I stay with WW. If not - I'm out. Not that I'm going to give up. Oh. Heck. NO!
There's always that "wire the jaws shut" thing.
Make it a great day!
An Expensive Egg
1 day ago
8 comments:
"There's always that "wire the jaws shut" thing."
Uh, okay, I guess.
Loved this post.
Loved this post! It showed a lot of humor and self-awareness of the situation.
how did it go, Linda? were you able just for TUESDAY to hang in there with your plan?
yes, your post is so funny and well written but I can so HEAR YOUR FRUSTRATION loud & clear.
do I need to move in with you and hugh?? :)
Well, I stayed RIGHT ON points yesterday. That's HUGE for me.
I walked my dogs this morning - just got back. I've been doing a little running as well. My own version of HIIT. The k9 units love it.
Truth: Being able to laugh at yourself is a recipe for success.
I loved this post!
My dad used to work with a lady who had wired her jaw shut. She drank extra-thick milkshakes and stuffed wieners through her teeth. She lost nothing! So, it's not a sure thing either!
I'm glad you've got more perspective now... I'm not a big fan of WLS, although I will never condemn someone for going that route. I've researched it myself in my darker times and I really don't think that it's a healthy option.
Good luck Linda! You can do this!
lol
Nice post.
"Just for today." = that's the genius portion.
TODAY, you can do it.
Wow, Linda, this was funny and well written, but poignant also. I could so relate to how you feel. I am grateful that I do not have the roller coaster of PMS to ride anymore. (Although there must be a bit of it still hanging around because the 'people makeme sick shows up a little too much!)
Anyways, as You-Know-Who says, 'the truth will set you free.' And it is so good to see that you do know the truth.
One funny thing happened. Last night I was not sleeping well, and I started thinking about W.W. and their 8 good health guidelines, and their little chart of starving hungry to over-full, and I was thinking about how important it was for me to be reminded over and over of that stuff every week. Just a thought...
To quote a great blogger, "NEVER GIVE UP!"
Love your post! So true and filled with humor at the same time!!!
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