Random thoughts while waiting for the IRS...

I still haven't received an economic stimulus check because I made an error while doing my taxes that caused a delay in the IRS's ability to determine whether or not I am deserving of such a check and in what amount. So while I sit on hold listening to Tchaikovsky (?) I'm gonna random typed.

Thinking about the whirlwind lunacy of last week: I was pretty impressed with myself that I got through it reasonably well. I didn't think I was that effected by the whole situation. Well, I am effected. I can't get my mind off Shannon. I want her to get real, to tell the truth, to open up all the ugly she carries with her and give it to the universe. She's become such a good faker that I don't think she will. I want her to be open to the possibilities and shed those people who relapsed with her. I want her to live. But I want her not to go back to where she was living. It's bad there.

I also realized that I am exhausted by the experience, thus my real need to let go. I can't believe how long and hard I slept last night. Nor can I believe how I just don't feel like doing anything. The wind has been sucked out of my proverbial sails. I haven't been to the gym since my ONE day last week Thursday. I'm supposed to do three. I have to do three this week for strength. HAVE TO AND WILL.

I'm also beginning to NOT look forward to going back to my high school teaching gig. I don't know what I'd prefer to be doing, but I am not sure it's teaching. Gonna have to do some soul searching and thinking on this one over the next nine month and see what comes. I love summers off and all that, but I dont' know. When I think of going back and having to associate with my co-workers, I get to feeling all icky inside. They are a dysfunctional family of co-dependants, especially the many who went to school there and now work there. The tend to never grow up. See, I'm queasy. Ugh.

Random random random...and I'm still on hold. I bet if I go to the kitchen to fetch my oatmeal I'll come back and still be on hold....yep. I was watching Big Brother on CBS last night, not that I'm a huge fan. Anyway in the food competition Jerry had to eat a giant bowl of slop. He gagged that stuff down. Reminded me of how I feel about eating oatmeal. I even put almonds and craisins in it w/out brown sugar. God, how do people rave about this stuff like it is manna from God? Ick. I'd rather have long-john with white frosting and nuts. YUM...

Since I'm still on hold waiting to talk to a real human being - this is crazy. It's a wonder the federal govt. can get anything done. (apologies if you work for them) I need my stimulus check to pay my taxes for next year. Right now I have nothing saved and am scared I am going to have nothing when the time comes to pay up. ~~~sigh~~~

Indeed this is random...I was thinking of going through my nieces' clothes and trying to sell some of the hoochie stuff on ebay. She has no job and needs money cuz she is overdrawn at the bank, but I don't know that anyone would want these clothes. It's scary just how drawn this girl is to hooker clothes and shoes. (here I go again) It's just a thought.

I've been on hold for about 15 minutes meaning I've been sitting far too long. I need a coffee refill, and I just watched a cat pee on my credenza. I'm guessing this is a good time to hang up and finish this blog. I've got bigger fish to fry than using spell check. I gotta get more coffee!