Fridays are for Forgiveness

You'll have to forgive me for doing this on Saturday morning. Weekend craziness is catching up with me already.

Forgiveness is hard. When people do us wrong, I think it's human nature to hold a grudge, sometimes forever. But I do know the power of forgiveness, and I do know the blessed relief one can feel when we let go of that anger and bitterness we feel when we are violated by someone else's meanness, stupidity, heartlessness, carelessness or whatever character flaw enabled them to be hurtful.

The hardest person to forgive is myself. I never actually "let myself go". Know what I mean? It happens often that people see someone from that past who at one time was the picture of health and is now a wreck on legs, and they say 'Oh, Gertrude certainly has let herself go." That's about caring and stopping caring about appearance and health and such. I don't think I ever really learned to "care" about my health or appearance. I always ever saw myself as "normal" so I never learned to grab on to fitness or good diet. I am working on forgiving myself for never grabbing on. It's taken me 40+ years to get it, and now I get to undo all the mess I've made of me.

I have to learn to forgive my mom. She was a nurse for 40 years and raised an overweight family. She knew better, but she could only control so much. I get that,but stillll. I mean, she insists there be butter on every sandwich - even peanut butter sandwiches....gaaaaawd!


I talked to little brother on the phone and he chewed me out a little for planting the seed about just how much of what our family does is about food, food, food. He's been haunted all week about that. He knows I'm right. He knows we are obese because we use food for everythhing - celebration, mourning, family - it don't matter, we live to eat. I hope he continues to listen to me and learns to eat to live.

Forgive people. And forgive me for making it short. I have a breakfast date. (Ohhh, irony!)