Struggles

Ugh.

Yesterday was a day of bad choices. After only a week of doing WW and losing, I engaged in self-sabotage, allowing myself to eat with semi-wreckless abandon to reward my diligence. And I skipped the gym.

I know, I know I know. Today is a new day. New opportunities. Hit restart. Do over. blah blah blah.

I knew it was not going to be easy, embracing this new way of doing things. But I didn't think my nemesis - Suzy Saboteur would be me and not this soon.

So how am I doing today. Good. It's a good day. I have'nt eaten enough, in fact. And that apostrophe is in the wrong place. *grin* But I can't look back. I need to move ahead.

The head "chef" (used lightly) here is making "turkey wraps" for lunch. I wonder what that could be. The little kids are getting sandwiches; big kids get wraps. I need some vegetables. Badly. All I have for lunch is a Smart Ones Santa Fe and an apple. I'd rather eat something with more veggies, but last night was a night of "screw everything including cooking." So I am ill prepared. Again.

And I know it's my bad. Usually it is.

What to do...what to do....

I am first going to go get a bottle of water, drink it and refill it and drink that. I have a cranky headache that may indicate dehydration. If that's not it, then I'm just plain cranky.

Then I'll cruise past the kitchen to get a look at these "wraps" and the stuff on the side. I may just have to have one. Then log it on WW's site.

H is going to a b-day party after school, so I can fly home, walk the doggies, and head to the gym for a really really really good workout. I need it. I should have gone last night. Maybe that's my problem. No endorphin rush to fuel my engine. I did walk the dogs this morning, and I'm really trying to keep that at a brisk pace, but walking isn't enough for me anymore. I need muscle burn. I like it. And I need to sweat - not just the healthy glowing sweat of my morning dog walk briskly done. Nope - I need sweat rolling down my nose, into my eyes, soaking my collar, stinking up my clothes. Gonna get me some later, too.

~~~sigh~~~

Feeling like a failure. Don't ask. Can't help it. I know I'm not. But still.