Struggling again, naturally

I seem to have fallen way off the wagon again. I am caught in a cycle of eating like an idiot. I have stress -not sure of the source; perhaps many sources?

Hugh is giving me all kinds of hell lately. He practices passive resistance. He simply refuses to do little chores, big chores, homework, etc. I give choices. I tell him. I cajole. I yell. I plead. Nothing works. He's been walking around here flinching like he thinks I'm going to hit him. Imagine walking within 3 feet of your kid and having him whimper, cringe, and cower like a beaten dog. I don't get what this is about. I did come from a family of hitters. There have been a handful of times when I have snapped and given him a whack which I regret later. But this is pathetic. It's also insulting. I find myself getting angrier and angrier with him lately because he says "NO!" most of the time when I ask/tell him to do chores. I've taken his Wii and his TV. I'm on the verge of making him miss baseball. I'm not sure what all else I can take away. At any rate - the stress from this is making me nuts.

I've also applied for a different job. Waiting to hear if I'm getting an interview. Kind of stressful.

Spring break = returning to school to deal with kids who have decided that school is over for the year. I'm grateful to be in a small school where the kids are pretty mild-mannered. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with the kids checking out.

So I've been stress eating. Chips and chocolate. Mostly just eating way too much of whatever I can lay hands on. I'm grossing myself out! It isn't funny, but it kind of is. I feel nasty, and I know why. Blah

Watching the Biggest Loser last night really helped me get my head on straight. Sometimes I just feel happy for those people, but last night I was feeling the "you've come so far, don't screw it up now" thing. So today I am getting it together. I started the day walking the K9s, and it is beautiful outside. I will walk them again after work, and I will go for a walk while Hugh is playing baseball this afternoon. I know what I need to do, so now I need to do it.

I also need to start using my weight machine - yep, it's here and it's ready and I've been neglecting it, because I"m too lazy to get up there and use it. I'm pathetic....sort of. Reality check. Gotta get some positive self talk going. Hopefully I'll have time this afternoon to use it after my dog walk.

So weights up; working on it is down. Put I'm not quitting.

Hope you are all well. make it a great day.